Ashes And Broken Things

by Andy and the Pandy's

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04:51

credits

released 27 December 2013

Written, Recorded, Mixed, and Mastered by Andy Maitland
Artwork by Dave Daniele

Bass: Dave Daniele
Violin: Neall Seamus Gleason
Guest Vocals: Nick Adkins, Neall Seamus Gleason
Everything Else: Andy Maitland

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Track Name: Fifteen Years
Maybe one day
I'll stop writing these songs
About death and my questions about God
Maybe one day
I'll accept that I've lost
And take a job working midnights at some factory

But I hope I die
Before I realize it's over
And I'll never be anything unique
Because it's been fifteen years at least
Since I've smiled genuinely
Maybe more
I just can't remember
Track Name: I Could Use Some Hope
I'm not ashamed of who I am
I'm ashamed of what I've done
The lies, the lust, the rust
That covers everything I touch
I keep trying to be a light
With nothing but love upon my lips
But I'm so full of hate
And it makes me fucking sick

I'm just trying to believe
In anything at all
A reason to keep from letting go
Because I'm struggling to see
The light in all this dark
God, I could use some hope

I found company with sinners
With the liars and the thieves
Because they came with no agenda
And had no judgement in their speech
What the hell makes me deserving
Of any better end
Than those who love without condition
Despite my self-righteousness
Track Name: Small Town
I met Jesus in a small town
I was sleeping on her couch
After a night of heavy drinking
And we sipped the blood of the night
Maybe had a bit too much wine
But it was worth the feeling

Oh, my God, where do you go?
I feel I'm running down an endless road
Oh, my God, where did you go?
Did I lose you when I left home?

I found Jesus in the deep south
Smoked cigarettes in his house
After a night of barely sleeping
And we talked of all the reasons
To live life with no regrets
And it was quite revealing

I've been searching for
Something that means something more
Than all these empty words
Empty beliefs
And I've no wisdom to impart
No answers for a troubled heart
If I haven't found you yet
I've just been too afraid to see
Track Name: I Just Get Lonely Sometimes
I pulled the curtains
To let the light in
But it seems the sun is
Always hiding
I'm not looking for someone to save my life
I just get lonely sometimes

If there's a love that's
Living inside us
Why do I feel so
Uninspired?
Please don't ask me what goes on inside my mind
I couldn't tell you most of the time

But there's a wind
blowing hard through the city
That holds the love
that surrounds you and me
There's a voice ringing out in the distance
Saying, "you will feel alive again"

Salvations coming
It's so close I can taste it
Because I'm a mess
I spend most of my nights wasted
There's a voice that cuts straight to my heart
Saying, "you will feel alive again"
Track Name: Painted Windows
I cut open my side
On this rope I've been trying to climb
It just got tangled around my feet
So I put my faith in doubt
As I tore my stitches out
It was the only thing that seemed concrete

I'm looking for truth
Through painted windows
I can't see nothin' up ahead
While my thoughts roll
Down the east coast
I get lost inside my head

I don't remember when I lost my mind
Maybe summer '99
Looking for identity
I may have found it once or twice
But it was pointless
It was trite
It didn't mean that much to me
Track Name: It's All So Meaningless
One day one of these car crashes will kill me
And I'll be sleeping with a smile on my face
My wasted life only a memory
Finally free from all my chains

Oh, it's all for nothing
Oh, it's all so meaningless
In this life
If I've learned just one thing
It's that I haven't learned a damn thing yet

Someday I'll settle down and quit my drinking
Find a wife
Maybe have a couple kids
But if you were a mother
Would you still feel just as young?
And if I was a father
Would I still hate what I've become?
Track Name: Everyone's A Liar
She wore her sympathy
Like flowers in her hair
They were such pretty things
But never were quite real
Everybody knows that it's not right
Everybody knows it's just a lie

He sang the sweetest speech
With honey on his tongue
Like every word he spoke
Was written down in blood
Everybody knows that it's not right
Everybody knows it's just a lie

The devil in my head
Tells me to smash my teeth
"It's just a simple step
You won't even feel a thing"
Everybody knows that it's not right
Everybody knows it's just a lie

Everyone's a liar.
Track Name: Make Believe
It's a long road
With a steep slope
I've got a long way to climb
But my legs won't
Support the weight anymore
Of this heavy heart of mine

I lost hope
With these hands around my throat
How I tried to make believe
Everything was fine
I tried to speak
But my words just shattered at my teeth
What a tragic disappointment
What a lie
Oh, this life

It's a stiff cold
That moves through my bones
I'm a sun that never shines
I let it take hold
Of this tired soul
Because what's the point in trying?

I keep losing hope
I've got these hands around my throat
How I tried to make myself believe
That I'm doing alright
I keep trying to speak
But my words just shatter at my teeth
It's a constant disappointment
It's a waste of time
Oh, this life
Track Name: There's A Hole In My Coat
There's a change in the weather
There's a hole in my coat
I can't say it gets better
But I'm not sure that it won't
So I'll build myself a fire
With all the things that I love
And I'll stand close beside you
And try to keep my heart warm

I have nothing left to say
I have nothing left to give
All my love has gone away
All my money's spent

There's a place deep inside me
Where I keep all my ugly thoughts
All the emptiness and sadness
All the joy that I've lost
And I try to never go there
Keep it hidden in the dark
But sorrow always seems to find me
And running's getting hard

I have nothing left to say
I have nothing left to give
I tried to drink it all away
But I remember more than I forget
Track Name: I'm Not Much Of Anything
I was once a river
I was once the tallest tree
I was once a mountain
Now I'm not much of anything
But dry ground
And broken stones
I'm wearing down
To the bone

I waited for an angel
I waited for relief
I was once so faithful
Now I'm not much of anything
But dry ground
And broken stones
I'm wearing down
To the bone

I was once so hopeful
I was once so free
I was once a fighter
Now I'm not much of anything
Track Name: I'm Tired
I am a flame
That flickers and fades
As the world is slowly crumbling
While the rain and the winds
Come to steal my soul again
They leave only ashes and broken things

I've been wasting my years
On all of these troubles and tears
My heart is a weight in my chest
That I can't shake at all
And it leaves me broken and sore
And I don't think I can take anymore
If this is what living is
Then I've had enough of it

I don't want to be sad anymore
I don't want to sit silent and ignored
I want to get back my sight
Maybe do something right for once
I'm tired of breaking all of my plans
But I'm tired of doing the best that I can
Will my heart ever change?
Do I have what it takes
To be satisfied?

I am a flame
That flickers and fades